Winter Solstice 2018 -- Three Poems

Artist of Intent

I have a basket full of good intentions 
Teasing out one strand is goal for today
to-write 
to-sing 
to-day -- also a verb

Setting: dark stage single spot on wash tub

Hesitantly mime appears
peeking over rim of wash tub 
fearful tentative movements 
peering and ducking 

Excruciatingly slowly mime emerges
finally in a graceful bold step 
leaps from tub 

Sudden cringe ducking as if -- what 

Nothing happens 

Then stepping with determination to discover ankle chained to tub
humiliation anger despair anger frustration 
investigation of chain 
puzzlement discovery 
opening link of chain 
triumph elation 

Striding away only to look back 
hunches over 
creeping return
re-gathering chain around leg 
crawls back into tub 

Spot fades

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Vertigo

One crystal with improbable charisma

takes my body out on wildcat strike

with no demands or path to settlement.

Motion impossible, sight skewed,

stomach in turmoil
I surrender immediately.
But no matter if I resist or not, chaos overwhelms.

At last I find a train of thought,

mostly negative,

but coherent.
Three days lost.
Today, the fourth, late afternoon,
I pick up pen and start to negotiate.

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Binary Paths

Alternating patterns
The on-off of clock ticking, water dripping
dappled shadows traversing the yard
defining time passing.

Moment by moment
either marking time
or finding a holding pattern until the end

Or? Rather? Perhaps?
Looking with philosopher's eye
living in the moment
aware of the subtle and fleeting

Seeing an image of a vase or
am I looking at the profiles of two women
both are there
alternating possibilities

inevitable movement towards the invisible
Cassandra tells and we do not believe

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Reminders of limits and mortality keep pushing me to create --  memories are mined and up-cycled. A mime performance 30 plus years ago, Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken" revisited over the years, and a severe case of vertigo experienced this last October all give me motivation. Writing poetry is my answer to everything.

Autumnal Equinox 2018

Two Paintings One Poem

Untitled     Mixed Media on Paper

(Intersection 22” X 18”)

Ruth Ann Howden   July 2018

FRAGILE

– Please handle with care –

a bit of art sent to delight an ailing friend

trusting strangers to deliver safely

'fragile' printed in caps front and back

Walking the path home I move from sun to shade,

from sun to shade

thankful for the trees strangers planted long ago

protecting my fragile skin

The pathway handles me with care, delivering me safely

Stepping ever more lightly on the earth

I endeavor to be the stranger

who handles all life with care

helping deliver a fragile earth

to future generations

August 2018, Ruth Ann Howden

Untitled        Mixed Media on Paper

(Aporia 26” X 18”)

Ruth Ann Howden      September 2018

Summer Solstice 2018

Two  Poems and One Painting

Vast

Vast is too tiny a word 
to define the ocean surrounding me. 
I study the 3-foot by 4-foot map of the Pacific Rim - all that blue. 
Hawaii - smudges of brown circled with white, the middle of that empty blue.

Daily I consider that map on my living room wall. 
I am sitting on one of the smaller smudges. 
Hundreds of planes carrying thousands of people flying in and out daily. 
Satellites spin above the atmosphere - the largest, the International Space Station is holding human life. 
I spot it occasionally. 
The moon going through phases accompanies me 
as does the splendid sun - my star.

My star holds planets with moons in its embrace 
dancing through a universe I fail to comprehend. 
Vast is too tiny a word.

Untitled Mixed Media on Paper
(22" x 30" Kupeke Fishpond)
Ruth Ann Howden
June 2018

O 2 K

One

Stop at that point where the self and the world cross.
The point where we feel

(figuratively and literally)

Savor the touch taste smell sound and sight -

where we fuse with the moment.
Where decisions are forced upon us at unexpected and potentially lethal intersections.
Pay attention,

there can be immediate impact in stopping on green light as well as going on the red.

Two
Only five senses - limits spur creative mind to open and stretch.

Three
What is a life if not the opportunity to engage others and the earth?
Composing my choices, habits, thoughts into art - gathering surprises.

Four
'Engage in life' advises Seneca.
Add depth and concern, taste every color.
This track I make is but a digital trail lost in the silicon.

Five
I live in the illusion that I still have enough time

Time to sit in the sunshine.
Time to contribute beauty to the world.

Time to mentor / pass on what I've learned.
Time to laugh.
Time to give thought to real problems.

Time to sort out the clutter.
Time to show gratitude.

Time to remember all the places that fill my life, and time to wonder at the progression from there to here,

from Oconomowoc to  Kaunakakai

Spring Equinox 2018

Spring Equinox Blog

Only six minutes late this March 20^th, it's officially the first day of spring but here in Hawaii the day is already six minutes longer than the night. Happy Springtime!

Starting with my New Year Haiku, here is a little collection of poems I've written this year:

twenty seventeen

turns eighteen, indifferent

spinning world dares me

players all in life

thinking we know the script

wait - surprise finish

timing the empty

spaces, sure to be claimed by

regret or desire

yes, red is lucky,

three of anything also

good, like a haiku

all that I learned by

not speaking was the issue

for me to confront

later speaking, all

I learned was depth of anger

yet to parcel out

twenty-six letters

combined and recombined

endless my delight

tentative text waits -

ideas, words meander

seeking bold reveal

rapid ideas 

vaporizing faster, gone 

with single misstep

pure innocence - some

love because, some in-spite of,

while others just love

as a mayfly turns 
languidly with a thin breeze 
my life expended

life is good in Molokai

New Year Haiku

New Year 2018

12312017

twenty seventeen

turns eighteen, indifferent

spinning world dares me

01012018

Winter Solstice 2017

Happy Winter Solstice!

I passed my one year anniversary on Molokai in November. I am settled, have a routine: keep on exercising, do about five hours of volunteer work each week. In other words an orderly and pleasant life style. But the big bonus is I've found the creative time I have to myself is being productive. I've been writing, painting and coming up with new ideas for projects I can't imagine living long enough to complete.

A highlight of my time here was my visit to the canoe that sailed around the world. The Hoku'lea visited Kaunakakai wharf on a tour of the Hawaiian Islands last month. On November 28, I got to go on board and marvel at the living heritage and courage involved. A grand plan successfully completed. And it is a beautiful ship from the zig-zag stitching on the sail to the hand carved koa wood 'doughnuts' securing the multiple ropes, and the magnificent rudder that I could barely heft out of the water to move in the air. For all those days and nights, all those miles someone was holding course with that rudder. 

My bare feet touch deck

Hoku'lea courageous

Circle completed

Check out their website at: hokulea.com hokulea.com

Autumn Equinox 2017

Return to the Central Pacific

I share that universal reaction, now that I have a home: it is such a pleasure to return.

Admittedly, when I'm traveling I want to keep going, see what is over the next ridge; check out another city.

Family and friends make me welcome; tell me I'm looking well.

Keeping connections, long-term, takes an effort both joyful and sad.

Finances and energy levels demand I stop. Mixed blessing. I've done what I could, then let go.

Return to Molokai is sweet. Flying into Honolulu from San Francisco is swift. Seeing my island home from the air gave me a rush, I wanted to point it out to everyone around, 'That's my home. It looks just like the map – rather like a fish. It's so clear from up here.'

yes, a pleasure to return.

[canoe race finish line]

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Four years ago I said I would return to Oregon to see the solar eclipse. And that I did. In August I viewed the eclipse in Lebanon, OR. (east of Corvallis on the South Santiam River). It was a classic celestial event, the slow awareness of change, the suspension of reality during totality with beautiful aurora, then sudden diamond ring glint as the earth keeps turning and the shadow passes on. Being the type of person who watches the credits after a film, I had to wait until the sun was whole again before I would leave.

Previous to that major event I had been in Hood River visiting my older sister Lorraine and her family. Here are my shots of Mt. Hood and Multnomah Falls. This is the area of the Columbia River Gorge that is being devastated by the Eagle Creek fire. The old lodge at the falls was saved, but it's not over yet. As of Sept 19th rain has come and outlook is now much better.

 

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I spent a week in Eugene visiting long time friends and getting quality time with my son Nat and his partner Brandi. He does computer 'stuff' and she makes fantastic wrapped wire jewelry. They arranged time off from jobs and we spent a beautiful long weekend at Newport on the coast. I had the Oscar Wilde room at the Sylvia Beach Hotel where they serve hot mulled wine at night in the library. Ah, indulgences...

Photos of Oscar Wilde room, Sutton Beach Overlook, that's me in the shark's jaws at the aquarium in Newport, and the sea lions in the harbor making an incredible racket.





 
           

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I must mention my detour to Powell's Bookstore in Portland; a book-lovers heaven. I came out with only two books (travel light) plus a free shipping coupon! Then returning the rental car to Portland airport I found my way to San Jose in less than two hours. There I stayed with Carolyn, a dear friend I've known since the 1960's. We worked together in Los Angeles and then were neighbors in New York City; lots of wonderful memories shared. She has consistently inspired and encouraged me over the years.

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My next jaunt by Cal-train, BART and bus got me up to Healdsburg north of Santa Rosa, for a pleasant visit with my younger sister Ellen and her family which increased since I was last there with the addition of her new grandson. The fierce heat and smoky sky kept us indoors while we shared old photos. I brought some from our other sister in Oregon;

[mother, older sister & me early 1940's; younger sister & me early 1960's; mother, me & Nat - 2nd b'day]

The heat limited our usual walking around but we did go to the Armstrong Redwood Grove just outside Guerneville in the coast range to walk among the magic. The time span (1400 years) and size of those trees (300') puts me in different perspective.

Old, large, lovely, 

Impressive trees. 

Non bending, non-burning Redwoods 

capture the sky and keep it anchored to the Earth.

We stand in awe.

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My last adventure was a day in San Francisco. I walked around the Castro district and attended a San Francisco Mime Troupe performance in Deloris Park; their production of Walls. The SFMT does political, musical satire, a longtime institution in the Bay Area.

  

  

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Then the circle was completed as I reclaimed the peace and clean air of home.

My sincere thanks to those who shared this adventure with me, and apologies to all those I did not get to see. You are not forgotten.