Welcome to my blog, summer has reawakened me after a fallow six months. Here's a new one-act play that is yours to share. It's royalty free for nonprofits and educational groups to produce. All I request if it is produced is that I am notified. email me at: rahowden@gmail.com
Enjoy
Shelter In Place
(September 2025) Ruth Ann Howden
Characters:
Narrator - a circus ringmaster
President
Military Aide (holding briefcase and red phone)
Director of national intelligence (DNI)
Press secretary
Putin (Voice over telephone)
First Lady
Their son
Staff #1
Staff #2
Staff #3
scene 1
Setting White House, near future,
Circus music is heard, it rises then fades
as lights come up, President and aide
Are frozen in place staring at each other
narrator:
Welcome ladies and gentlemen, tonight we present a fable for our time in one act. I'd like to ask everyone to think about what could possibly humiliate Number 47
president:
I want my helicopter now. I have a bitcoin meeting to get to.
aide:
I'm sorry sir, but as I told you earlier, conditions won't allow it.
president:
I'm in control of conditions. I say we go now.
aide:
The wind is far too dangerous. There's a hurricane coming.
president:
Why wasn't I told earlier?
Narrator:
You fired all those who did long-term forecasting and broke up systems that monitored weather, stopped night tracking by satellite.
president:
Right. Complicated business, complicated. Those ecoterrorists were using all that misinformation against me. And we're saving millions of dollars. I need to go to the meeting to secure those savings.
aide:
Yes sir.
president:
So we can leave now?
aide:
No sir. No travel is possible for anyone.
president:
Get my chief of staff.
aide:
He didn't come in today.
president:
Lilly livered chicken wimp (beat) who did come in?
aide:
Your director of national intelligence and the press secretary. They didn't know about the hurricane.
president:
useless cows (beat) OK, get them in here. I can count on them to do what I want.
aide:
Yes sir.
end scene 1
***
scene 2
Conference room with table chairs and water glasses oversized so actors appear as kids in a cartoon. Aide is standing back, at the ready. The other three are sitting around a huge table.
president:
I am going to that bitcoin meeting. You in charge of intelligence operations, get me a helicopter.
director national intelligence:
Yes sir. (she pulls out cell phone and dials one number after another)
press secretary:
Is that a secure line?
director national intelligence:
Don't worry, I always use Signal.
Narrator:
Cell towers are probably down.
director national intelligence:
Or they've blocked my number.
president:
Isn't there any other phone connection?
aide: (stepping forward with nuclear football and red-phone.)
Yes sir.
(president punches in one number)
putin:
ja, putin here
president:
Privet (mis-pronounced pervert) Vladimir
putin:
What? Are you threatening me?
president:
No, no, my friend. I was told pervert meant hello in Russian. It seems this is the only phone that works around here. You tell me what's going on.
putin:
A category four hurricane made landfall last night at the Florida/ Georgia border, and has increased to a category five as it heads North along the coast. It's due to hit DC by mid afternoon.
president:
How do you know all this?
putin:
We hired the weather men that you fired. There's no hope for you. Goodbye.
president:
Wait I need a friend to talk to. (only dial tone is heard)
press secretary:
It's OK, we're your friends. We'll fix it for you.
president:
useless, powerless women
director national intelligence:
We can postpone the meeting saying others were unable to attend. That you were prepared to meet no matter the weather conditions.
president:
OK we need a message on truth social passing the blame. (he taps on his phone) Done!
press secretary:
I'll add a Super-pres emoji. Standing against the wind catching bitcoins!
end of scene 2
scene 3
White House, president is moping at window, first lady and son enter, she's looking bored but pleased with her image in the mirror, aide standing at the ready
first lady:
I thought you had a meeting you couldn't miss.
president:
There's this damn hurricane –they won't let me go.
son:
I told you we should have kept the Tesla; I would have driven you.
president:
(deep sigh) where are you going?
son:
There doesn't seem to be any kitchen staff today so we're going to find some lunch.
president:
Nothing in the fridge upstairs?
son:
Just caviar and pickled whatever. On a day like this I want tomato soup and grilled cheese on white bread. I'll bet that's what staff is feeding their kids right now.
president:
They should be here, getting you what you want. They're all fired if they think their families are more important than their duty to me.
son:
Do you ever listen to yourself dad?
president:
No, why bother – everyone else is listening and obeying.
son:
from what I hear at school – people are listening, but I guess they don't understand as they are either laughing, or shaking their heads at the hypocrisy, of course others are really angry at the genocide in Gaza, ICE raids, and at the use of troops in LA. Angry people don't seem to hear or obey very well.
president:
Enough. I knew you should've gone to Harvard. They respect me there.
son:
no doubt about that
(the noise of the storm is getting louder)
aide:
Excuse me sir. It's time we get down to the bunker. The others are already there.
end scene 3
scene 4
Bunker below White House –staff, guards, press secretary and dni move aside to make way for president, first lady, son and aide
president:
Where is my private section?
aide:
There isn't one sir. The plan has always been to evacuate you and your family before a hurricane hit.
president:
I wanted to go this morning and you couldn't get me a helicopter.
aide:
Sir, it was already too late.
president:
There should have been better warning.
son:
I heard those two-faced weatherman went off to Russia.
president: (turning to aide)
get the Press secretary over here. we've got to put a different spin on this.
press secretary:
Yes sir.
president:
Send out a news release, tell them those who needed to know about the weather, knew. I chose to shelter in place and I now recommend all citizens on the East Coast do the same.
press secretary:
Yes sir.
president:
After that come back and we'll work on my big beautiful idea to change the pledge of allegiance from the flag to the President of the United States. Maybe our intelligence director can help on this. I hadn't seen her in awhile.
press secretary:
you had banned her from meetings.
son:
would you like me to set up a spreadsheet for you dad, easier to keep track of who's out at the moment.
president:
Stop harassing me or you'll be on top of the shit list. In fact, why don't you ever say 'yes sir'? Even your mother can do that.
end scene 4
scene 5
Same people sitting in silent, dimly lit bunker
president:
What if something, besides the weather, is happening out there?
aide:
Vance is safe in Colorado, he's in charge until you reappear.
president:
That fuck up? No way!
son:
what, no faith in your chosen running mate.
president:
he's a real fuck up, I just used him to get the working class votes, he represents a large constituency
son:
amazing, how can a Yale law graduate with an exotically beautiful wife and income from a best selling book be representative of the working class?
president:
Don't you have any imagination – That's what all men want. And he got it.
son:
no doubt about it. Which should I start on? The beautiful wife or writing a book?
president: (Taking question seriously)
there are lots of beautiful women and you can have as many as you want. But it only takes one book to build an image and bring in the dollars. I know a good ghost writer.
The dim bunker is silent for a couple minutes
The president is fidgeting, standing then sitting,
looking at his watch, glaring at the others.
Finally he gets up and opens the door into a dark hallway
president:
Give me a flashlight
son:
You have one on your phone
president:
just shut up and show me
aide positions himself in front of the door
president:
Move aside (beat) hear me?
aide:
Yes sir, I heard you
president:
Well move
aide:
Sorry sir, my top duty is to protect you. We all need to stay in the bunker. They'll look for us here when it's safe to come out.
president:
What I say, is your duty. You're fired.
President reaches over and takes the aide's pistol and shoots the aide
who falls on top of nuclear football and red phone.
putin's voice comes through the yells and screams in the bunker.
putin:
stop harassing me Donny.
president:
Oops, that was an accidental call sir, a butt dial. Very sorry to disturb you.
president drops the gun, walks out the door using his flashlight
One of the staff is checking the aide's pulse, all are staring with
open mouth as he shakes his head and drops the hand
loud crashes are heard
director national intelligence:
Now I'm top ranking here. You men go find him and bring him back alive.
the men including the son leave, carefully stepping over the aide's body. The women sit down with backs toward the body
director national intelligence:
okay, we need to get a story together, how did the aide die....
Sad Circus music is heard as narrator moves body to the side and
covers it with a blanket
end scene 5
scene 6
A jumble of fallen beams, bricks, pipes, things shaking and falling about them. The noise of the hurricane is louder.
The men are shining their flashlights around
son:
Dad, where are you? Are you OK? Please answer me (beat) sir
president:
Ha, you used the magic word
son:
what, please?
president:
No dummy, sir
son:
Yes sir
president:
I'm over here, something is holding me down
The men quickly remove rubble to find him bent over a beam, butt in the air towards the audience, with another beam holding his shoulders and arms down. You can see the back of his orange head rise up when he speaks. Son crawls under beams to talk to him.
son:
Wow (beat) sir. This is a bad situation. Are you hurt? Anything broken?
president:
My head got a whack, but I seem to be in one piece.
son:
Can you wiggle your fingers and toes, sir?
president:
Yes, just get me out of here.
son:
Yes sir
Son crawls back out to confer with the others
who are taking photos of president and smirking
son:
Do you see any way to shore things up so when we lift that beam off his back everything doesn't cave in?
staff #1:
I've been looking at that other beam over there, it doesn't seem to be holding anything up, maybe . . .
staff #2:
First we should build a shelter over his head as stuff is bound to fall
staff #3:
We should be wearing hard hats
son:
OK, look around and see what might be useful.
As the rest spread out to search, the son
crawls back to sit in front of President
son:
How are you doing dad, oops, sir.
president:
Same except I have to take a piss. Just get me out of here.
son:
Yes sir
Circus music plays in the background
Strobe lights indicate rapid time and action
The men follow their plan.
This could be short or long, all physical comedy – No dialogue
There's lots of crashing and banging, things continue to fall
around them but they work through it successfully
pulling the president out and back into the bunker
End scene 6
Scene 7
president is on sofa delusional/normal
the covered body is ignored
first lady wanders around looking bored
press secretary:
Sir, here's some water, can you tell me what happened out there?
president:
A voice was telling me that everything was falling apart and I need to go plant my flag at the top of the hill to keep the aliens away. My beautiful new flag poles on the top of the White House have blown away. I have to plant a new flag. Immediately. Otherwise those immigrants are going to build their own country here. We can't stop my big beautiful plan just because of the weather. I'm going to be immortalized on Mount Rushmore. (beat) It's complicated business, complicated. I have to keep on the job of saving America for white Americans. Keep deporting those terrorists! (beat) I could hear them out there singing "Give peace a chance" just to taunt me. Have we deported that Lennon beatle and his terrorist wife yet? They're the cause of all my problems.
press secretary:
uh, John Lennon was killed years ago, before I was born. And Yoko Ono is in her 90s. Deporting her would be bad press.
president:
I'm above the press, all they can do now is carry my message, and promote my beautiful products. I'll demand lots of stories about all my supporters buying Gold watches and Gold sneakers using my beautiful Gold TrumpCoins; (beat) and lots of coverage of my Nobel Peace Prize.
press secretary:
That hasn't been decided yet.
president:
If they give it to someone else we'll sue. (beat) I'm above all law. My doctor says I'll live to be 200. Everyone should know by now I'm the second coming, nothing is above me.
everyone together:
yes sir!
Everyone is frozen in place giving a Nazi salute
lights slowly dim, circus music raises in volume, spot lights swirl around the floor, as narrator's voice ties things up
narrator:
hopefully our erratic leader, a convicted felon, who displays more self-assurance than integrity, will soon experience that there are consequences to all actions.
Did you think of anything that would humiliate him? I couldn't.
Yet we know he's a fragile bully ready for a simple nudge to topple.
Where is the one to say 'the emperor has no clothes'?
